Affair & Infidelity Recovery Counseling Online in California
Healing After Betrayal: Rebuild Trust, Restore Connection
-
Recovery is possible
Discovering an affair can feel like the ground has disappeared beneath you. You may be flooded with questions, replaying conversations, struggling to sleep, and wondering whether your relationship can survive. If you're the partner who had the affair, you may feel guilt, shame, and confusion about how to make things right.
I'm Sam Wasfi, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (California LMFT #96157) with over 15 years of experience helping couples heal after betrayal. Many couples not only recover from an affair but build a stronger, more honest relationship than they had before. I see couples online anywhere in California, with evening and weekend appointments available.
-
Signs you could use help
You can't stop thinking about the affair, even months later
Conversations about it turn into fights or shut down completely
You want to forgive but don't know how to trust again
You're the partner who strayed and don't know how to repair the damage
You're unsure whether to stay together or separate
Secrets, an emotional affair, or online infidelity have shaken your trust
-
How I work: the Gottman approach to affair recovery
I've completed the Gottman Institute's specialized training in treating affairs and trauma, and I integrate it with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The Gottman affair recovery model guides couples through three phases:
Atone: The partner who had the affair takes full responsibility, answers questions honestly, and helps rebuild a sense of safety.
Attune: Together, you understand what was missing in the relationship before the affair and learn to turn toward each other's needs.
Attach: You rebuild emotional and physical intimacy and create a new relationship that both of you choose.
This process has been incredibly helpful in my work with many couples who have experienced an affair.
What to expect when you start
Session 1, together: We slow things down. I'll help you both feel safe enough to talk, understand what happened from each perspective, and address any immediate crisis.
Session 2, individually: I meet with each of you separately, so each partner can share their experience, history, and hopes freely.
Session 3, together: I share my assessment and a clear road map for recovery, including what to expect in each phase and how we'll rebuild trust step by step.
Support for both partners
If you were betrayed
Your pain, anger, and questions are understandable. You'll have space to be heard, to ask what you need to know, and to decide at your own pace whether and how to rebuild trust.
If you had the affair
You may feel guilt, shame, or confusion about why it happened. I'll help you understand yourself, take meaningful responsibility, and learn how to help your partner heal, without being defined by your worst choice.
Online affair recovery anywhere in California
All sessions take place by secure video, so you can meet from home, together or from two locations. Early-morning, evening, and weekend appointments are available, so you can start when you're ready, even in the middle of a crisis.
Cost and scheduling
Couples sessions are $225, and I can provide a superbill for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Your first 20-minute consultation is always free. If you'd like a broader overview of how I work with couples, see my Couples Therapy page.
Frequently asked questions about affair recovery
-
Yes, many couples do recover, and some build a stronger, more honest relationship than before. Recovery takes commitment from both partners, honesty from the partner who had the affair, and a clear process to follow.
-
It's usually a longer process than general couples therapy, often several months. The timeline depends on the situation and on both partners' commitment. We'll review progress together regularly.
-
That's normal after a betrayal. You don't have to decide right away. Part of our work can be gaining clarity about whether and how to move forward, together or apart.
-
No. Forgiveness can't be rushed, and it isn't the first step. It becomes possible as safety and trust are rebuilt over time.
-
Yes. Emotional affairs, online relationships, and hidden sexual behavior can be just as painful as a physical affair, and the same recovery process applies.
-
Affair recovery requires the affair to end before starting couples work. If it hasn't yet, we can talk honestly about where things stand during your free consultation.
You don't have to figure this out alone
Whether you want to rebuild your relationship or need clarity about what comes next, call 949.954.0756 or schedule a free 20-minute consultation. We'll talk about what's happening and how I can help.

